I made myself a promise a little over a year ago. I promised that I would write a blog post every week. Every single week. I chose Tuesday as the day I would publish the post, and I promised not to let my internal editor sabotage everything. I wasn’t going for great literature. I was going for consistency, showing up, and just doing the work.
So how am I doing?
Well, I missed a week — the Tuesday of the midterm elections. This week, I am a day late. My internal editor is as robust as ever, although slightly more likely to wait to speak until spoken to.
I am calling this a win.
I’ve heard people quote “the past is prologue,” meaning that what happened in the past predicts what the future will be. More and more, I think this is ridiculous.
The past isn’t prologue. The past isn’t predictor. The past is —- past.
Sure. There are hints and whispers and echoes of the past everywhere. Every time I see a mouse, for example, I have the overwhelming echo of the time my upstairs neighbor’s pet gerbil chewed through the ceiling and dropped onto my bed. *shudder*
But, just because I hear the past whispering in my ear, doesn’t mean I need to do what it says.
See, in the past, if I dropped off a plan I made for myself, I just kept dropping until I decided the plan wasn’t that important in the first place. I dropped back into the story of The Girl Who Does Things 3/4 of the Way. The story of my life.
Except now I know, I am the writer. I tell the story and I’m telling it differently. You can hiccup and still breathe. You can stumble and still keep walking. I can come to this blog a day (or a week) late and still get back on track.
I’m going to attempt now to connect this back to the thing I’ve been doing while procrastinating this blog post — watching auditions from the X Factor on YouTube. I have heard, over and over, judges saying things like “natural talent,” “born performer,” or “gifted.” I find this deceptive and slightly dangerous.
Sure, some people may be born with an affinity, but talent? That is pure, uncomplicated, consistent, work. Showing up, consistently, and working at it. Being frustrated or tired or unmotivated and doing it anyway. Missing a practice (or a deadline) and getting back into it anyway.
So, here I am, with my imperfect ideas and slightly burnt coffee just showing up. A day late, but here.
How are you showing up for yourself today?