I am quite possibly the most organized flake you will ever meet. I have a wall calendar marked with the number of days left until my target move date. Just beyond it, my table is covered with piles of papers, cords to dead electronics, boxes and packing tape. It’s mathematical chaos.
Last night I looked at that calendar and realized the very small number of days left before I relocate my life and my practice to my home state of Kentucky. It occurred to me that I could write down all the things that come at me in waves of gratitude as I think about leaving. This, then, is the beginning of a semi-regular series of Things I Appreciate.
The first thing I appreciate is: endings.
A little over three years ago, I stepped into an unexpected ending in my personal life. I distinctly remember the feeling of holding on with just my fingernails, digging in to keep from sliding into I-don’t-know-what. Out of that stubbornness came this completely irrational plan to quit my spa job and start my own private practice.
When important things end, that feeling of “nothing left to lose” can open up a whole wealth of options. It was fear that kept me from starting my own practice for so long, but with nothing left to lose, fear made no sense, so I went for it. It took time to build, and there have definitely been some hiccups, but overall I have been happier in my work these past three years than I ever thought possible. And it all started with an ending.
So today I am thinking of endings, of the enduring permanence of endings. All things end, and in their place something new emerges. This is a lesson I started to learn when I started my practice, and I am learning it forever, constantly, in a new way with every brand new ending.